If you’ve kept up with my last few posts you’ll notice a theme … I’m feeling a bit, what’s the word? Retired? Yep. Retired. Accepting that word as opposed to the phrase ‘Not Working Anymore’ has been much to hard to accept. Creeped me out actually. When I quit working I left a career that I absolutely loved working for the U.S. Forest Service. Twenty-one years of absolute joy, excitement, and adventure. The last 5 years were pretty close to hell on earth. I didn’t just quit working I escaped and that made the transition to ‘not working anymore’ a relief. It was a thank goodness I’m alive relief … more than that, thank goodness I didn’t toss anyone down the stairs relief. But now it’s time to put those last 5 years into a box, tape it up and toss it into the incinerator. I just have to let it go and remember the 21 years I loved working and making a difference … maybe that is what I am sensing is missing … making a difference?
It’s starting … the 12 week book adventure I’m going on … Julia Cameron’s It’s Never to Late to Begin Again:Discovering Creativity and Meaning at Midlife and Beyond. I’ve started reading. Today I am starting with morning pages, a walk, and a mental walk-about … to seek and find something more, something new, something old or find just me..
I admit I’m feeling a bit like Bilbo Baggins leaving Bag End the second time … knowing the time is ripe for change and new adventures.
The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say!*
*Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Book 1, Fellowship of the Ring