I love the view from the deck in Council! I can look out the glass door of my office/guest room and see Council Mountain…today there is snow dusting the peaks (uh, yeah, really!), the slopes are late summer brown beige colored sagebrush and cheat grass. The valley cottonwoods and berry bushes are bunches of gold, green and rust … the colors last blast before the leaves turn totally brown, fall to ground to crumble and molder in the duff beneath…food for worms and fields.
Last evening was the first heavy coat day of the season…long sleeves weren’t enough, the North Face wind blocker wasn’t even enough to eliminate shivers…our evening walk was pleasant with the parka zipped and my hands (not yet gloved) in fleece lined pockets.
I almost … just almost … wished for summer again.
Wishing for the pleasant past, reliving the unpleasant past, wondering what I’m doing next week, or month or year and then where did time go? I find the concept of Time itself fascinating… like someone said ‘the toilet paper goes faster toward the end of the roll’.
A few years ago I read a book titled The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle , the treatise being that time is only NOW; always living or looking back we miss Now we aren’t living today, looking forward with no foundation in Now we miss living our Now today. That I was wasting Now by reliving decisions and actions of the past was such a freeing thought I was able to let go … forgive … Like the Pinterest quote I saw not long ago reminded me … Learn from the Past and Get the Hell Out of There. I tried living Now, and fell into the Live for today for tomorrow we die mode; what did I want to do, feel, see; mostly selfish and self-fulfilling but mostly I felt something was missing.
My fascination with the concept of Time led me to do some other reading, I’ve become addicted to SciFi books and movies about time travel and paradox and even Einstein’s theory of time and relativity, and sub components of Time. But when I read this I found what I was missing in my Now (I changed the subject to personalize it for me, I do that a lot when I read): “The pleasant future belongs to those who properly use today. [I] need to find the abundant life as [I] go along. How can [I] be happy tomorrow if [my] “nows” are filled with self-inflicted unhappinesses and unwise delays? Generally speaking, those inclined to count daily blessings have more to count because they help make more possible as they learn gratitude. A constant waiting for a brighter future may cause [me]to lose the beautiful today. [I] need to constantly remind [myself] eternity is in process now…and then “[I] should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of [my] free will, and bring to pass much righteousness [good]” (D&C 58:27) [within the] time structure referred to only as now, today, and without delay…To live more fully each hour and to glean the most from each day is wisdom. How unwise [I am] to waste [my] todays when they determine the significance of [my] tomorrows. [I] should wisely live a day at a time because that is all [I] have.” Marvin J Ashton
So for my today , my Now will be filled with talking to and helping friends (friends made when Then was Now and friends to be made Now) and Family…today I am searching the past to find family whose Now allowed me to Be Today… today I will find them, say their names out loud again and remember them, Now.