Morning Brain. I woke early and did so want to go back to sleep but morning brain took over. That place where in thought the desires of your heart are rolled into view and if you’re aware you may find insight and guidance. In those moments I always want to capture the feelings and thoughts which are so clear in that place between sleep and awakening but which fade so quickly. It seems to me that they are lessons taught to the soul which the mind isn’t supposed to understand. That is where I am this morning; my heart feeling a lingering sadness at the changes that always happen with time. Changes no one can stop but which must be accepted whether with love and grace or with a great deal of feet dragging which stirs up dirt but doesn’t stop the change happening.
Today I am on the bank of a river and feel as if almost all of my family has set sail in my rudely crafted boats pushed from the dock and into the river and I wonder if their rudders, paddles and sails are firmly fixed. I question; do they have a firmly attached anchor so when the rapids of the river buffet them or they are caught in whirlpools they won’t be knocked overboard. What if they are becalmed in stagnant backwaters do they know how to row? Do they have enough strength to tack the sail in heavy winds without being capsized but most importantly do they know how to use their rudder to avoid the rapids and whirlpools, to stay in the main current without getting caught in a backwater?
I believe the lesson to my heart this morning is that it is no longer my time to teach and build boats; my family is in our Master’s hands and as He built me a seaworthy vessel when I was riding a cork in the river, I am to have faith. Their boats are not rudder, sail or anchorless. Nothing built with love will ever fail. Someday they will look back up river and remember; everything.